What Do You Do in Those In-between Moments?

We all have times when we’re not specifically occupied. Even if we are really busy with work and family, we will still experience in-between times—waiting for a clerk or someone who is late, or holding on the phone. Sometimes we finish what we had planned and still have a little time before having to do the next thing or retire for the night.

So, what do you do in these unplanned moments when you don’t really have anything  to do?

It really bothers me that that I automatically reach for my cell phone to fill these unexpected chunks of time. I repeatedly check the latest text messages, emails, news, or social media. I hate being magnetically drawn to my phone. I don’t plan to check my phone, and there is nothing urgent I need to learn. Research shows I’m not the only one with an unhealthy connection or even addiction to my cell phone.

Before screens filled our world, we had to handle these moments differently. I think I was more likely  to chat with anyone who might be around and probably kept a book or magazine available to read. If I was near my desk, I might have checked my to-do list to see if there was something quick that I could do or doodled on a note pad. Maybe I did nothing.

To gain control of my phone habits, I’m following these  four steps:

1. I keep closer track of my cell phone use, keep the phone out of sight when possible, and have notifications turned off. In the morning I strive to avoid checking  my phone until after my prayer time.

2. I’ve dramatically reduced my social media time. Checking for likes and notifications became a constant  ritual when I was trying to promote my book a few years ago. Though I value some of the groups, updates, and connections from social media, for me these benefits have been outweighed by the negatives—the addiction tendency for sure. But also the warped judgements and comparisons I find myself making and my unpleasant visceral  reactions to the divisive and harsh language that seems to be unavoidable on social media.

3.  I believe the most powerful part of my reprogramming is happening as a result of my meditation practice, specifically Centering Prayer. I put in the prayer time without expectations. But I notice I am calmer and less reactive to time delays or interruptions. Instead of mindlessly picking up my phone during an unexpected delay, I am more able to intentionally pause and reflect before deciding what to do. In other words, I thoughtfully choose whether to pick up my phone or to do something else—like pray, doodle, read, chat, or move my body.

4. Keeping a good book available has been a huge help. James Clear https://www.creativelive.com/blog/what-do-you-do-when-you-have-nothing-to-do/ suggests setting a default activity to do in these free moments. To avoid wasting this time, he keeps a google document on his phone so he can work on his current manuscript. You could use an e-book on your phone as your default.

Don’t think I’m against cell phones.

I love my cell phone and all my apps.

It’s just that I want to control my phone instead of my phone controlling me!

SUGGESTIONS:

1. Becoming mindful of your phone habits is the first step. A mindfulness-based stress reduction program will help—here’s a excellent free program called Palouse Mindfulness.

2 Learn more about phone addiction.

3. For a teaser on a future blog topic about how we use our time, check out “Holy Leisure.”

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Dr. Donna Chacko promotes health of body, mind, and spirit through her website (serenityandhealth.com), her blog, her podcast/vlog series, “Engaging with a Messy World” and " “Pop-Up Conversations on Health of Mind, Body, and Spirit,” and programs at her church. She is the author of Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (Luminare Press, 2021), a recent best-seller on Amazon, 2022 Illumination Awards Gold Medal Winner, 2022 Reader Views Literary Award Gold Medal Winner, and 2022 Catholic Media Association First Place Awards.