Do you ever wonder why “good” people do and believe things that are bad or incorrect? Consider slave owners, Germans who supported Hitler, or soldiers who commit atrocities? Are they bad people? Have then been misled? Or could they be desperately holding blinders in place so they don’t have to see and deal with an uncomfortable truth?
We all have blinders and selective vision that influence our relationships, beliefs, and behaviors. For example, my blinders hindered my understanding of my relationship with my first husband. Psychologists offer many explanations for our blindness. Our minds can trick us into ignoring the truth or believing our bad or incorrect thoughts and deeds really are good or at least OK. We are very skilled at seeing and believing what we choose in order to avoid psychic discomfort and feel better. For example, we are able to see a “speck” in another’s eye even when we have a “plank” in our own (Matthew 7:3-5).
The question is, then, how do we know if we really are doing/thinking/believing the right thing, that which is good and true? Or are we relying on our blinders or other psychic tricks to protect us from seeing that our safe and comfortable beliefs are incomplete or distorted?
Is My Truth Really True?
We will never know the answer to this question unless we care enough to honestly ask ourselves the question: Is My Truth Really True? Asking this question demands humility and courage since we don’t know what we may discover.
Why bother with this? I believe this openness can heal us and our families, churches, and society. Think of the issues that have divided us: politics, immigration, abortion, LGBT issues, education, vaccinations, church policy, and so much more. We must never forget that good, God-fearing people live on both sides of these divides, all trying to do what they think is right.
One challenge we face in exploring our truth is the disconcerting nuance and gray we often find. I discussed with a spiritual director my struggle with the uncertainty and lack of black and white answers, and she said, “There is one truth, but it is God’s to know, not our’s.” Our call, I think, is to stay open, listen, pray, trust God’s guidance, and treat our brothers and sisters with love and civility regardless of their truth.
This is a vast subject, but here are some ideas to help you lay aside your blinders and find your truth.
SUGGESTIONS:
1. Pray for God’s grace. Learning about the true self vs. the false self as described by Thomas Keating was eye opening for me. I also strongly recommend The Gift of Being Yourself, the Sacred Call to Self-Discovery by David G. Benner, 104 pages of wisdom about knowing God and knowing self. I continue to recommend Centering Prayer as a way to open ourselves to God and his healing touch.
2. Explore your psyche by self-study or therapy in order to understand how imprints from your childhood or unresolved conflicts may be playing a huge role in your thinking, beliefs, and behaviors. A few good books to consider are: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie; Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero; and, Mind Over Mood by Greenberger and Padesky, a detailed workbook to help you “change how you feel by changing the way you think.”
3. Go out of your way to get to know people who think differently than you. I am blessed to have people in my life whom I love and respect, and also disagree with. Conversations with these individuals help me be less judgmental and more respectful of others with differing views. It’s not easy and takes practice, but I believe this type of conversation will help us treat our brothers and sisters with love and respect. Organizations such as Braver Angels provide opportunities for you to practice—I just signed up for my second 1:1 conversation.
4. I strongly urge you to read Sergio Pecanha’s five-star opinion piece, “Hug an Election Denier.”
I pray for blessings for each and every one of you.
Love,
Donna
EXTRAS
Listen to my recent conversation with Pastor, bible teacher and author Angie Baughman. I really enjoyed this interview about serenity and health…and hope you will too. Check out her Steady On Podcast. Here is my episode: https://livesteadyon.com/2023/02/15/episode-150-serenity-and-health-with-donna-chacko/
I recently had the privilege of speaking to the Ignatian Volunteer Corps (IVC) of Baltimore. I was very impressed with this awesome group of seniors who are committed to spiritual growth, community, and service. Fr. James Martin is hosting an online information session about IVC, March 21, 4PM EST. Please check out this link for more information if you are a 50+adult and you want to learn how you can deepen your faith and make a difference in the world.
Dr. Donna Chacko promotes health of body, mind, and spirit through her website (serenityandhealth.com), her blog, her podcast/vlog series Pop-Up Conversations on Health of Mind, Body, and Spirit, and programs at her church. She is the author of Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (Luminare Press, 2021), a recent best-seller on Amazon, 2022 Illumination Awards Gold Medal Winner, 2022 Reader Views Literary Award Gold Medal Winner, and 2022 Catholic Media Association First Place Awards.
Do you control your phone habits? Or does your phone control you?